The phone rang again this morning. If you read yesterday's post you will see how I feel about morning phone calls. At least this time it wasn't a wrong number; it was just for my son who wasn't at home.

My daughter staggered upstairs later on and said she felt like she had been eating knives, which didn't sound good to me. I took the trusty old flashlight and looked down her throat, seeing exactly what I expected to see: white spots. Strep throat. Oh joy!

This was especially enjoyable since I hadn't gotten around to finding a doctor, which meant that I had to do a search and find someone near here who took our insurance. Then I got to fill out all the paperwork at the office since we were new. I swear there was a packet of papers this thick. (I'm holding my fingers about 1/2 inch apart.)

When we got home, after scoring some samples, I decided to do some laundry. I know, I know. I lead a really exciting life, but please, don't be jealous. Upon entering the laundry room I was hit with the unmistakeable realization that water was coming from somewhere. I moved the rattan basket and found a really grody roll of toilet paper, and also found a spectacular mold growth going on on the underside of the basket.

At that point I decided it was no longer my problem and called my husband. Let him deal with it.

I went up to fix supper and feed the dogs. I'm not sure if he managed to find out what was wrong yet, but I sure hope so. I can't live without my washer. I'll keep you posted on this exciting episode in my life.

It's Always the Little Things

The phone rang at 8 a.m. , which did not make me a happy camper. I am not a morning person, and this morning was especially bad since I had not gone to sleep until around 5 a.m. , which is not normal, even for me. Anyway, the phone rang and a woman asked for someone who did not live here. I told her she had the wrong number, at which point she began to question me, like maybe I didn't actually know who lived in my house. I finally convinced her that she really did have the wrong number and she hung up. I tried to go back to sleep, but it wasn't working very well. Pretty soon the phone rings again. Same woman. Same answer. No, we haven't added another family member in the 30 or so minutes since your last call. So she starts questioning me again!

"Is this 555-5555?"

"No"

"Well, that's the number I'm dialing. I can see it right on my screen."

"I'm sorry, but that is the wrong number. Perhaps there is a problem with the phone company."

(In an awed voice) "That's just really weird!"

"Yes, well, perhaps there is a problem with the phone company."

"I really need to get hold of this girl, but I keep getting you. (giggle) I hope I don't keep getting you all day!"

I just knew she looked perky. She sounded perky. I don't do perky, especially in the mornings.

I finally get Perky Girl off the phone and manage to doze off again when the stupid phone rings. I'd like to slam it against the wall, but there is always the off chance that my dad is calling, despite the fact that I know he limits his calls to after midnight but before 7 in the morning.

So, I answer it and a voice that sounds familiar says, "Hey, whatcha doing?"

"Lying here", I answer.

Then I hear a startled, "Jenny?"

Since my name is not Jenny this threw me for a loop.

"No," I sigh, "You have the wrong number."

She reads off my phone number to me, and yep, that's the right one, but there is no Jenny here.

"Where are you?" she asks.

Feeling a bit sensitive from my earlier encounters I just reply that there is no Jenny and hasn't been for quite some time.

Pause. Then suddenly she blurts out my name. Turns out it was the person I thought it was originally, but she thought I was someone else. Had her names and phone numbers mixed up. We had a nice chat, caught up on things, and by the time we hung up I was wide awake.

So, my day began far too early for my tastes and just screwed up my whole plan. I seriously hope nobody calls tomorrow morning or else I will have to blow a foghorn in their ear.

Shallow Gal

Remember the movie Shallow Hal? Well, I realized tonight that I am a shallow gal. I settled down for an evening of mindless TV ,(Trading Spouses), only to find that there was a Presidential Speech on instead. I was really, really ticked. That's when it hit me: I would honestly and truly rather watch a rerun of Trading Spouses than the leader of our country give a speech on Iraq.

What makes this truly pathetic is that my family has a long history of military service, my son is enlisted in the military, and I have always considered myself to be a rather patriotic American. The only way to explain this dichotomy is: I am shallow.

I think what bothers me the most is the fact that I am not bothered by the fact that I aught to be bothered. I'm not sure that sentence makes any sense, but hey, I'm shallow so I don't care.