Brains: Do Men Have Them?

Now I know that all men are born brain damaged due to that testosterone wash, so I try to cut them a little slack, but I am still sometimes amazed at what they can come up with. Or rather, not come up with, as the case may be. I grew up with a brother and a father, I've been married for over 20 years, and have two sons, so I have had plenty of experience watching males at work and play. You would think that nothing could surprise me anymore. Wrong.

Take today for example. This morning I asked the kids if they want to go watch the fireworks at the plaza. They all think that would be fine. My husband was going to be at work.

I fixed an early supper so we will have plenty of time. When it is done, I announce supper to the kids. Twenty minutes later they still have not eaten. My oldest son's reason? "I didn't know it was ready." Of course. I was only standing a few feet from him when I announced supper. I can certainly understand how he could not know.

After that I told them all that we would need to leave about 9 to give us time to park and find a place to sit. At about 8:30 I gave them a 30 minute warning so they could get ready. At five minutes until 9 my youngest son wandered into the living room wearing shorts and nothing else. When I asked him why he wasn't ready yet he answered,"Oh, are we leaving soon?" Aaarrgghhh!

During this time my husband came home from work early and asked if we were going to watch fireworks somewhere. I told him we were leaving for the plaza at 9 to see the fireworks that started at 10. I tried to be very clear on this. Several minutes later he asked me what time we were leaving. I am not making this up, as Dave Barry would say. Then he asked me where we were going.

As I was gathering up children, my oldest asked me what time the fireworks started. After gritting my teeth and telling him again that they started at 10 he said, "Oh. I don't think I can go then since I have a class in the morning." Telling myself to be calm, be calm, I went out to the car.

The trip was uneventful until we neared the location and I saw that my husband had (once again) failed to put gas in the car and we were on empty. He was quite unconcerned about this, believing that he was going to just pull up somewhere close and find any number of parking spaces. This, of course, proved to be false. After driving around and around and around, he finally drove us quite a ways away and pulled into an almost empty parking lot right next to the transit center. We were, fortunately, able to see most of the fireworks from here, and we also had the added benefit of being close to the cream of the weirdo crop. Needless to say we hightailed it out of there as soon as the show was over.

So what I am wondering is: what do men use as brains? In just one day the males in my life had to be told multiple times the location and starting time of an event they wanted to attend. They had to be told several times what time we were leaving for said event. One showed a remarkable lack of planning, and rather poor judgement . I don't even want to know about other things that may have gone on that I don't know about. And keep in mind, this is one day. We've had worse days here.

If anyone can fill me in what what men keep in their heads I will be quite grateful to you for satisfying my curiosity.